Feeding My Ignorance

In recent days I have had a couple of discussions about "getting old" – and more specifically about a slight feeling of disbelief about how old we actually are. Is "oldness" a state of mind – quite separate from "age" which is clearly a measure of time?

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When I was young there was a group of folks I knew who were up to (I guess) about fifteen years older than I was – everyone older than that was part of the "old people" category – which is actually quite laughable looking back. I realise that I had a very strange perception of what constituted "old". Many of the "old" people from then I still don’t know their actual age – but I guess they were probably those who were contemporaries of my parents and anyone older than that.

So – do our perceptions of what is "old" equate to how old our parents are when we are born – those who have children at a relatively early age will bring up offspring who think that just about everyone is old!! What is surprising now is that those "old" people are still around fifty or more years later – they must be really ancient now!!!!

On the other hand – do those who are born to "older" parents perceive the world to be full of ‘younger’ people?

The word "perceive" is important here as what I think I am talking about is most definitely driven by perception. The "old" people from my youth were in reality at "best" (or is it "worst" – I’m not sure) middle aged – these were people who were (I suspect) in their twenties when I was born – but – because they belong to a different generation they immediately attracted the "old" tag.

I think that I was much more aware of a "generation" when I was younger – there was a group of people who were, most certainly, "my" generation – then there were those who were "older" and those who were "younger" – and a not inconsiderable number who were sort of "borderline" in one direction or another. Its not something that I could put number on – it was much more an innate sense of "belonging" to my own generation and everyone else was either in or out (or occasionally on the boundary).

When we are young that is, perhaps, reinforced by the fact that you are grouped together (in school for instance) with people your own age – it is uncommon for "youngsters" to mix with "adults" – indeed it was uncommon for 4^th year pupils to mix with 3^rd year!!! (although you might aspire to a 5^th year friend) There are some exceptions – school choir and school orchestra brought you together with a slightly wider age range – although you were still – for the most part – mixing with people within a year or two of your own age.

A "young" teacher was still actually quite "old" by this respect – and many teachers were already well on the way to ancient. (even though they were, quite probably, only in their thirties)

I then spent another five years at university – again with people around my own age although there were a few exceptions, especially in the post grad classes. All of this reinforced a "belonging" to a relatively narrow age range – anyone too far away from "the same age" was much less likely to be a part of your gang!!

There were some ways in which I was – perhaps more than most – accepted into a much wider age range of "people I knew" – of course your family is one such grouping – but that is quite highly structured by age/generation as well. My church activities brought together a very wide range of ages – but even there I can remember that there were the "old" people – and the "ancients"!!

Diving into a "work" situation things are immediately different (although there is still an element of being with your own "generation"). The main difference is not so much with the idea that some are old, and some are not, it is with the fact that you no longer have any reference point to figure out exactly how old anyone actually is!! Yes, you can guess and you will be approximately correct, but there is no equivalent to "people in your year" that was around at school time. The lines are now drawn around the "company structure" and you associate with your "peers" who may or may not be your own age,

Looking back – the environment I found myself in to start with was a relatively restricted one in terms of age range. I was working with "new technology" and that sort of ruled out the "greybeards" – even the bosses didn’t seem to be that old. In many ways in the (nearly) forty years since the company has grown old with me – however, I have not kept climbing the organisation’s ladder for all that time – and the result is that in some ways I see many "younger" people as being more "senior" than I am – perhaps that in itself keeps me thinking "young".

Those who start at the bottom of the pyramid and climb relentlessly to the top will, almost inevitably, see those below them as "youngsters" and will feel "senior" (and important!!) in some way commensurate with their age. They will indeed be the "greybeards".

For me, it seems that even though I KNOW that I am nearing the end of my working life I still do not see myself as "senior" or "in authority" in most senses. It seemingly is the case that I cannot possibly be this old - simply because so many people are "more important" than I am.

Growing old is something that I am - inevitably - going to do even more of - this is just the start of the consideration of this process within this blog!