Feeding My Ignorance

On social media, is your profile picture how you see yourself or how you want others to see you?

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Far from an easy question to answer, of course, since it is likely to be a mixture of both. The problem, as I see it, is that for most people (I think) the choice is made by looking for some version of "a good picture of myself that emphasises how I want to be viewed in this environment". The last bit is important since, arguably, a profile picture of Facebook may be quite different to the one on LinkedIn for example.

The problem (if it is a problem) is that we make the choice using our own lenses and filters and based on how we see the world - what we see as 'good' or 'attractive' or 'friendly' or just 'appropriate' may not necessarily be projecting the same attributes to other people.

Equally, as I look at other people's pictures I am evaluating them based on my own values and worldview.

I will therefore label people based on what I see, how I interpret that, and, I guess, using all those innate capabilities that we all use subconsciously to evaluate other people's looks.

This post was triggered (a little bizarrely) not by a profile picture at all, but by pictures of some folks in a news item. They were, very clearly, trying to portray themselves as "beautiful", "trendy", "desirable" and a whole host of other 'positive' traits - for me the result was at best grotesque and possibly repulsive - and comments on the news article seemed to indicate that my view was most certainly not the minority one.

It got me to thinking about the instant evaluation that we all make based on profile pictures. Thinking particularly about LinkedIn where I have connections whom I only know through the site (unlike on Facebook where most of my friends are people that I actually know - or did know - in the "real world") I am aware that I do make assumptions about the individual based on how they look in the profile picture.

What I also realise was that there was no "right" look - some are "business like", some are overtly "advertising like", some are seemingly trying to 'hide' their identity in some way or others and most are simply just trying to look "friendly".

Some regularly change their picture - others (myself included) never seem to do so.

The end result is, I suspect, not always what they were aiming for - I can think of one who has put on his "friendly" face and the result is he looks (to me) more than a little creepy!! I can think of one who has struck a pose which I suspect is supposed to be "intelligent and business like" but which comes across as slightly intimidating crossed with haughtiness.

Another game I like to play is to compare what they say with how they appear - in many cases it is surprisingly similar!! Although here I can think of one who has an extremely serious and studious picture who often responds with humour - but I have noticed that the humour is sometimes misinterpreted or missed - is that because there is a mismatch between the picture and the character?

I suspect that, for many, their "look" doesn't change that much and their profile picture is a pretty accurate representation of how they 'normally' portray themselves. That is not true of everyone though - others manage to change quite considerably when they update their profiles pictures - and I can think of one person who regularly posts images of themself which demonstrate an almost chameleon-ish ability to morph into the environment/setting. Interestingly in that case the profile picture doesn't seem to 'match' any of the other portrayals.

I have been trying to decide if there is any correlation between the picture that I see and whether I have a positive response to that person. The answer is - "I am not sure"!! There is no doubt that an "attractive" picture helps, however, what the definition of attractive is escapes me somewhat - although I guess that we all have some inbuilt biases that will colour that particular type of judgement. Importantly - and perhaps something that those clamouring for "likes" forget - is that the old adage "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is peculiarly apt here.

The internationalisation of connections due to the world wide web means that we are almost certainly being 'judged' according to not just personal preferences, but cultural preferences. It is extremely likely that what appeals to one "culture" will not appeal to another. This goes back to the trigger photo - which (presumably) appeals to the particular "culture" that the folks wish to belong to - to the particular "culture" that they, perhaps, aspire to.

Whilst I freely admit here that I found the images somewhat grotesque - unlike many I would never have commented to that effect directly on the article itself - why not? - because whilst I would steadfastly support it as my opinion - it is subjective and who am I to set myself up as judge over what is "beautiful"? I do think, though, that there is another line to be drawn - and whilst I would be rather shy about criticising a stranger for "looking stupid" - if it was a friend I would feel that it was incumbent upon me to make that friend aware of the possible foolishness of their look or actions.

After all - if no one ever "corrects" you, there can be no learning. Your viewpoints, opinions and - yes - fashion sense - will continue to be somewhat askew. If after the correction you wish to continue to be set in your ways then that is your lookout - and just because you are in the minority it doesn't make you wrong!!!

I think that, mostly, my judgement of someone on an initial encounter on LInkedIn (or similar) is primarily based on the content of whatever they have posted. However, I also suspect that in the quick skim through what has been posted anyone who has a picture that "attracts" me for whatever reason will stand more chance of being read!! This doesn't apply so much in long threaded discussions, where very often I almost completely ignore who has written the comment unless it strikes a chord with me - positively or negatively.

In yet another example of synchronicity, after writing this, but before posting it, a discussion has surfaced on LinkedIn asking if looks affects ability to close sales - not too far from this topic - and the overwhelming majority who replied said yes - including some men who would appoint a good looking woman to close a sale "because it happens faster". I was encouraged by the fact that at least one answer suggested that everyone is "good looking".

As with every other sort of decision we make - attractiveness is important when we are choosing our friends and connections - however - we would do well to remember that attractiveness is measured in more dimensions than one - looks may be important, but it is not the only thing that makes someone attractive.